Online dating is the practice of using digital platforms, such as websites or mobile apps or social media platforms to meet and connect with potential romantic partners. It allows individuals to:
- Initiate conversations and communicate with matches; and 2. Develop relationships, potentially leading to in-person meetings.
The Top Five (5) Dating Apps by User Base:
- Tinder has 630 million users.
- Badoo: 318 million users.
- Plenty of Fish (POF): 150 million users.
- Bumble: 100 million users.
- Happn: 100 million users.
Many people meet romantic partners through various social media platforms, beyond traditional dating apps and sites. Popular social media platforms include:
1. Instagram.
2. Facebook.
3. Snapchat.
4. Twitter.
5. TikTok.
6. WhatsApp.
Online dating can be a wonderful way to meet someone special with whom to share your life. Online dating can lead to finding your love, and in some instances, it may lead to marriages, or you find a friend. There are also some very nice and honest people out there, who are searching for their mates.
Online dating is totally common and has tons of success stories, but it can also be very tricky. Your date could be a creep, totally clingy, or countless other awful things. Online dating might also lead to disaster and even death.
Criminals also use online dating to prey on unsuspecting victims. Potential dangers of online dating include:
• Rape or sexual offenses.
• Physical assault or violence.
• Human trafficking.
• Robbery.
• Kidnapping.
• Death.
There are actual risks involved in meeting strangers online, and it is important to go into it with your eyes open and alert to potential threats.
So before going on a date with someone you met online, consider doing the following:
- Use a Trusted Site
The number one thing you should do when you are just starting to online date is to research the options — do not just choose the first one you come across. The ones you can trust are the ones your family members, friends, and co-workers have recommended, the ones you have heard the success stories about.
- Do not quickly provide your personal contact details on your profile.
Providing your home details i.e., phone number and address on your profile is an easy way for someone to track down where you live or work.
- Use an anonymous phone service to chat via your mobile.
When it is time to move your communication to the next level (talking on the phone), never give out your home or work phone number. Either provide a cell phone number or use Zoom or Google Meet to communicate. It is just an added protection barrier until you get to know the person better.
- Do not be talked into any action that is not in your best interest.
Doing things that are in your best interests means taking actions and making decisions that benefit your overall well-being, health, happiness, and long-term goals. That means you must think before you act. Do only those things which you feel are right and good for you.
- Look for questionable characteristics.
As you chat on the phone or via email or other social media platforms, you may be able to start to pick out characteristics of the other person. Do they seem to be shorttempered? Are they controlling? Do they avoid some of your questions?
- Request recent photos.
If your contact does not have a photo on their profile, request recent ones. It is important for you to get a good look at the person you may eventually meet. Plus, your instincts from your communications and their photos may provide you with valuable insight into the person. If a person lies about their photos or profile, then that is a red flag to no longer talk to the person or pursue the relationship.
- Never accept an offer to be picked up from your house on the first date.
This advice suggests that it’s generally not a good idea to accept a ride or an offer to be picked up from your house on a first date. You can even have a friend drop you off and pick you up from this first in-person meeting.
- Make sure you tell someone
Before you go on this date, you should tell your closest friends or family members about him and get their opinion of whether this is actually a smart move. You may as well show them his pictures or his profile.
- Protect your identity and anonymity.
You would not give personal information out to a stranger over the telephone, so why would you do so over the Internet? It is best to use your first name only during initial conversations and provide more detailed personal information only after you have met in person and gotten to know one another well.
- Do not give information
You should avoid telling them personal details like:
- where you work;
- where you go to gym; and
- where your kids go to school
At least until you have built more trust. This all seems like common sense, but it must be said. Someone who is really interested in you is never going to ask for this stuff until you two have really gotten to know each other.
- Do not give or send money
If an online match ever asks you for money, a credit card number, or your Social Security number, that is a huge red flag. Please, please, please do not give them any of that information under any circumstances.
- No expectation that romances and/or sex will happen.
It should be explicitly explained before the meeting that even though he may invest a lot of time and money in meeting you. There is a possibility that you may not start a relationship with him or that meeting him does not mean you want to engage in sexual liaison with him. He should be mentally prepared that this is a real possibility, and he should accept this. If he does not accept, called off the meeting.
- Bring cash
In case you need to make a quick and clean getaway, having cash on hand lets you throw down your bill and then leave. Looking for an ATM machine or waiting for the restaurant machine might be scary when you want to see yourself home and speedily
- Have an escape plan.
You need to have a friend or family member on standby to call you with an “emergency” when you text them “Code Red.” If you are having a terrible time or feel uncomfortable or threatened.
- Meet in a public place.
This is obviously the most important rule. When it is time to meet up arrange to meet in a public place. Arrange to do so in a busy public place, like a restaurant, coffee shop, bookstore, or other retail outlet.
16.Provide your own transportation. You can even have a friend drop you off and pick you up from this first in-person meeting.
17 If the person is not the one on the photos provided, leave!
If the person sitting/standing in front of you is not the one in the photos provided, you must leave. You do not have to explain why you are leaving.
- Trust your instincts/guts.
Sometimes you just know when something is not right! It is always important to use common sense. Your instinct is a powerful tool. For example, does he want to know all about you, but seems disinterested or vague in sharing details of his life? Is the telephone number he provides out of service, or is it unable to accept messages for days?
- Block & Report Suspicious Members
Almost every dating site or media platform has a feature that blocks abusive users and prevents them from viewing your profile and contacting you. This button should be in one of the corners of the person’s profile. If someone is harassing you, click it.
Most dating sites have around-the-clock customer support that can be contacted via email (and sometimes phone). You can take things a step further by reporting suspicious activity to them. The team will review the account and deactivate it if necessary.
- Watching the red flags
When communicating on the site or media platform, watch out for these red flags:
- Inconsistencies in their stories or information.
Inconsistencies in someone’s stories or information can be a major red flag. Pay attention to discrepancies in their stories or information. These may include:
- Personal details;
- Interests;
- Job or education history; and
- Past experiences.
If their stories don’t add up, it may indicate dishonesty or manipulation. Trust your instincts and ask clarifying questions if needed.
- Requests for personal or financial information.
Requests for personal or financial information are a significant red flag. Be cautious if someone asks for:
- Bank account details.
- Passwords.
- ID numbers.
- Financial assistance.
Legitimate relationships or interactions should not require sharing sensitive information early on. Keep your personal and financial details private, especially from someone you have just met online.
- Suspicious or generic profiles.
Suspicious or generic profiles can be a red flag. Watch out for profiles with:
- Low-quality or stolen photos.
- Generic descriptions lacking personal details.
- Unclear or inconsistent information.
- Profiles that seem too perfect or fake.
These may indicate scams, catfishing, or fake accounts. Be cautious and verify information when possible.
- Pressure to move conversations off the platform.
Pressure to move conversations off the platform can be a red flag. This might indicate someone is trying to avoid exposure or reporting mechanisms in place on the platform. Be cautious if someone pushes to switch to private messaging, phone calls, or meetings quickly. Prioritize your safety and stay within the platform’s protections if you are unsure. 18.5 Poor grammar or spelling, especially if inconsistent with their profile.
Poor grammar or spelling can be a red flag, especially if it does not match their profile or initial interactions. This inconsistency might suggest:
- Fake profile.
- Scam attempt.
- Someone using a script or template.
- Pay attention to language patterns and tone. If it is inconsistent or seems unnatural, proceed with caution.
- The person is avoiding video calls or meetings.
18.6 Avoiding video calls or meetings can be a red flag. It might indicate:
- Catfishing.
- Dishonesty about identity.
- Hiding something.
If someone consistently avoids face-to-face interaction, it may be a sign of insincerity or ulterior motives. Prioritize meeting in person or via video call to build trust.
18.7 Being overly flattering or pushy.
Being overly flattering or pushy can be a red flag in online interactions. It may indicate dishonesty or an attempt to manipulate or gain trust quickly. Healthy relationships develop gradually, and excessive flattery can be a tactic used by scammers or those with ulterior motives.
19.8 Sharing explicit content or making inappropriate comments.
Sharing explicit content or making inappropriate comments can be a red flag. It might indicate:
- Disrespect for boundaries.
- Inappropriate behaviour.
- Potential for sexual assault/ harassment or rape,
Prioritize your comfort and safety. If you are uncomfortable, it is okay to block or report the person. Trust your instincts and prioritize your safety.
It is critical to heed the “Red Flags” that pop up in your mind when you sense or hear something that just does not seem right about the person on the other end. You should realize that they may not always be the person they present themselves to be online